Saturday, May 10, 2014

My Other Woman

Alas, it is time to come clean about my other dirty little secret...

It's my garden. And she's beautiful and fun and spunky. After sitting inside all winter, shut out from the bitter cold, having a little fun outside is where it's at! Look at her, she's gorgeous.

Ok, so not really my garden, but you get the gist.

But it's hard to feel good about it when I feel so traitorous inside. I love my novel and I love writing, but at this time of year it's just too nice to not be outside. And yet every time I go outside and put on my purple garden gloves I feel like I'm cheating on my book.

She's like my wife and she's always there and she's comfortable. I get her out every night and play with her a bit, but she's the same boring screen every night. It's the same words, just reading them over and over and over.


Then there's my mistress and she's calling my name. She's colorful and blossoming right before my eyes and I can do all kinds of new things. It's different and vibrant and it makes me feel alive again.

And it makes me feel like a cheater. A dirty little cheater. I promised my novel the world. I was going to have her edited by the end of April and we were going to ride off into submission world together. It was going to be magical.

And then SHE came along and ruined our plans. SHE made me go out and weed all the gardens so she would look just right. SHE made me go to Cox's and buy her all kinds of new plants to pretty her up. SHE is going to take time away each week to make sure she's watered and dined and all the mean little weeds stay away from her. SHE is my demanding little mistress and I CAN'T STAY AWAY!


What do I get in return from my dirty little mistress? A flared up nasal cavity and postnasal drip. She gave me allergies. I had to go get tested and pricked all over my back just so they could say, "yes, you are allergic to all things green. Please stay away from outside." But I can't. I can't stay away from her, she calls to me every night.

What's worse is that it makes me lie to my novel, my poor, devoted wife. No, no honey, I'll get you finished up by May and then we'll go on submission. Oh wait, you want another chapter revised? Well, we'll see if you can get finished up by June.

But I'm going to do it tonight. I am devoted to my novel and we are going to re-write this entire chapter with a glass of pink Catawba and it's going to be fricken magical!

Unless my husband has anything to say about this. He's rolling his eyes at me right now. I think he thinks my novel is my mistress, I'm not sure how that all fits in...

Thank you and for the media.

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